Grey
2006-10-22
I have never seen these eyes before,
this color, this thought.
this strange grey, foreign, mysterious.
Like the moon, only dull.
the fire is still in the center,
i feel the fire still in my heart,
i still know somewhere right,
right where i need to go.
i have tired to wake up from,
i am dreaming of her again,
i am always dreaming of her,
thoughts always fill my mind.
this grey, it drives me,
it mashes with a fire,
that is slowly dying,
i need a light, to get me
to light the fire within,
to change these eyes,
from this grey death,
this small hope, of change.
I need to let go of this,
i need to find my own way,
where is the strength of thought,
where is the mind of body,
for i feel like death, like a fire
that has lost its fuel, that is only ash,
but she stirs the fire within, maybe,
maybe that is why i still cling to
this that is not real, this that fills,
this that wakes me up, and
gives me the strength i lack,
that makes me feel like i need to
like i need to defend something
anything that is not mine
from something that is his,
and so the anger is more.
i want to fight for this,
i want to cry for this,
i want to be there,
i want to hold you,
i want to know your depths,
i want to simply live,
not just smolder in the trash,
like i am now.
i have tried to escape,
but i only came running back,
i have tried to run,
but the your trap caught me,
i find myself hiding,
and wishing, and knowing.
Its in your eyes, your glowing,
bright eyes. your living eyes,
they are what draw me,
that are what light my own,
the brilliant colors,
wonderful with the sun,
mystic with the stars,
and always stunning
filling from without,
burning from a spirit within,
filled with youthful passion,
innocent and yet knowing,
and yet there are not mine to have,
and its only a fleeting moment,
just enough to keep the flame,
keep the fire, the ash burning within,
these dull grey eyes,
this color that i have never seen
within this sphere,
in my own eyes before.
James O. Stewart